12 Ways to Identify Past Life Lovers, Friends, or Enemies

L and J Past Life LoversTempers flared, decibels rose. “You agreed to pay 25% when you moved in!” I insisted. “But you use more electricity during the day than I do!” my roommate shouted back, this sweet-looking, perfectly-put-together woman who never showed this side of herself in public.

We’d been at this angry impasse for days. Finally, a thought came to me and I spat: “You know, if we don’t work this out now, we’ll have to come back as a man and woman, get married, and share a checkbook!”

At that point, the thought of marrying the other person was so abhorrent to us both that it worked like a splash of cold water. It didn’t hurt that we’d met in a past-life therapy class: we knew it could be true! After a stunned moment, we both broke out laughing.

What didn’t occur to me until long after she moved out and I went off to marry a really nice guy was that we’d probably already done the marriage routine, and left an imbalance we had to work out in our present lifetime, fighting over that stupid electric bill. Thankfully, we accomplished it, with laughter to shift the energy of the past and knowledge to pave the way.

If you’ve already read my article on Zazen Life: The Psychic Anatomy Concept of Life, then you know that nothing is lost in your personal universe. Everything you’ve done, said, thought, or felt remains with you, from life to life, as you experience your sequential incarnations. It’s not all active at the same time, however. Often things come around and go around and come back again according to circumstantial triggers in your life, and a few other cyclic, cosmic factors you’re not privy to. But one thing you can count on:

The important people in your life are very likely to have been people you’ve met before.

How can you tell?

First, you have to stop and consider it. That’s probably the hardest step. Once you realize this truth about your interactions with others, you’ll see it everywhere: former lovers, friends, enemies, family members. For a time, you might overdo it, imagining past-life connections that didn’t really happen. But some connections—the valid ones—ultimately prove themselves over and over again, if you pay attention.

Here are 12 ways to identify the hints of history that have drawn you back into each other’s orbits, for better or for worse. But always, with the opportunity to improve your relationship so that the next time you meet, things will be even better (especially in the case of former enemies)! And it’s likely you will meet again if you’ve got work left to do together. The principles of interdimensional science and your own personal design may mandate it. So it’s wise to do your best with each other now.

We’ll start with the easiest ways to recognize an old compatriot, your past life friends, lovers, and enemies:
  1. Instant rapport. You start talking and you can’t stop, but nicest of all, the other person gets it, and gets you. You fall into conversation like you’ve picked up a back-and-forth exchange you left off, oh, maybe centuries ago! (And if it’s a balanced give-and-take, with shared goals and mutual respect, count yourselves fortunate and never let go.)
  2. Instant dislike. You’ve tried to appreciate this person for their good qualities, but something just bugs you and you can’t shake it. And you might not even be able to define why. You may have no good, solid reason in the present life, other than a deep nagging “instinct.” (Which is another name for memory, in this case.)
  3. Butterflies. Your stomach won’t settle when you’re around this person. This might even be a love-relationship in the present, but an underlying stress won’t allow you to relax. You’re always on edge, maybe trying too hard to please, maybe unconsciously awaiting some bad turn of events. You might be “happy” in the externals, but those butterflies linger.
  4. Longevity. You’ve known this person (or family member) your whole life. In view of this list, take a closer look at them.
  5. Shared tastes. Where do your lines of compatibility cross? Do you share a passion for ____? Both love the same foreign language, food, or culture? Enjoy a similar sport, art, hobby, pastime? Have you done this together before?
  6. Ease of partnership. Do you work well together, like smoothly oiled gears? Finish each other’s sentences?
    Accomplish more together than separately? This is a very valuable “polarity,” developed over many lives of practice. Cherish it, no matter how briefly (work partners) or long (friend or family) it may last.

  7. Unquenchable anger directed toward you. Nothing ever seems agreeable to you both; you can never make them happy; they seem to you to act as if you owe them something. You fight a lot over these things. You sort things out—and it happens again. It might be that certain specific things act as a trigger. If you can figure out what they are, you might be able to identify the past-life situation, which will help you move on, or resolve it in the present.
  8. Guilt. You’re always tipping the balance toward giving more than you get in return. (Which is certainly a good thing now and then, but every time, with the same individual, signifies something unseen at work.) You feel you owe them, but this is probably not in your conscious awareness. You are always looking out for them, taking the extra step, doing more, overcompensating for something invisible in your present life, but still alive deep in your history. They might be a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, or coworker in the present life. You’ve drawn yourselves back together to work this out. Knowing that should help the balance slowly (or rapidly) shift. It’s entirely up to you. Only you can forgive yourself and until you do, their feelings won’t change your deep guilt. This, by the way, is a very common bond between people: guilt and resentment. We often say that if you’ve killed someone on a battlefield, you’ve just married them. Nothing is lost or forgotten in the Infinite scheme of energy-life. This doesn’t mean you have to come back and let them kill you! That’s an old misconception about reincarnation which would not rectify anything, only perpetuate the seesaw. You each will find your way to resolve this problem when ready.
  9. Fear. Your memory may not be at the conscious level, but you know something. Respect it. Past-life events, if not recognized and resolved, often repeat. Circumstances may vary slightly, but results may be the same. Learn all you can. If your gut tells you to run, do it, even if your fear seems wildly unreasonable in the present lifetime. Yes, fear can be resolved with past-life knowledge, but fear is also a safety mechanism to be deeply respected with regard to other individuals. Take it seriously. But if truly unwarranted in the present life, you’ll at least know where it came from and can take steps to rectify this situation through your studies of past-life therapy. Be cautious and trust your feelings.
  10. Gender irrelevance. Two souls who’ve loved one another for many lives, in a variety of roles, may meet again during their alternate gender expressions. They will choose what type of expression they share in the present, whether as friends, lovers, family, partners of any kind. Some gay relationships are based on lifetimes of shared experience, and since we all experience both genders over our many lives, gender can seem unimportant. These are very individual decisions, and our reasons vary according to our personal, soulic, evolutionary objectives. My blog post, Are You Gender Neutral?, explores this concept further.
  11. Flashbacks. You might suddenly remember your past lives together. Especially if you’re aware and alert to the possibility. Trust your insights.
  12. Inappropriate sexual attraction. We very often trade roles in subsequent lives in order to learn and grow. Someone who was once a lover might now be a family member, or married to another, or of inappropriate age. The variations are endless, the complications serious. The fact that society doesn’t recognize the influence of past lives doesn’t help matters. Knowing the feelings come from other relationships in other lifetimes definitely helps to quell and “put out of phase” these impulses, before you put one another into a situation you’ll regret. Recognition in the conscious awareness, “I knew this person before and we were intimate,” can immediately change the energetic bias or feeling. Even if it’s too late, this knowledge will help you sort out the damage more quickly and get back on the track you intended for your present lifetime. Self-forgiveness, self-understanding, self-awareness—these are keys you’ll want to have.
I could go on all day like this. The ways we replay our past lives with one another are infinite, the clues endless. See if you can add to this list. Right now you might have realized I left off “appropriate sexual attraction.” That might be the product of past-life experience, or it might be new. You’ll have to decide for yourself, but I figured that was one you’d have little trouble exploring on your own.

More importantly, now that you’ve recognized some of your former associates, you’ll be wanting to improve on what you’ve already shared with them, knowing that the energy you’ve passed between you cannot be destroyed, only reshaped by your actions, thoughts, feelings, and words in the present life. That’s what I call “future life therapy,” and it’s the subject of entire books of aid and comfort.

But if you find anyone you know on this list, you’ve made a wonderful first step toward an improved life for both of you—now and in the future! It’s not important to share this information with them. Ultimately, all improvements begin with you. Their energies will fall in line with yours as you change.