Lianne Downey

Knowing someone from a past life is no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship! Here are five ways to fix it, or finish it.

I often write “Dear Abby” type replies to people who comment on my posts about past life awareness. Many of them find themselves stuck in relationships that are making them unhappy. My most popular article of this sort is about identifying past life lovers, friends, and enemies. Thankfully, that begins to answer the question. They came together to rectify past life issues that have left them feeling unbalanced. But it’s never quite that simple.

In fact, in many cases the “coming together” wasn’t a conscious decision they made. It was mandated by the flow of energy in our universe, which follows certain principles of attraction and repulsion and harmonic regeneration. They had no choice. These individuals would inevitably find one another to resolve what they’d left so very complicated.

Whatever we have been to one another in prior lives, in whichever gender we were/are living, we can become bonded in what seem to be unshakeable or unmanageable or intolerable situations. And they are tangled! Readers of my articles write to tell me of situations more complicated than fiction.  And they can’t get free. Or they want to get free, but they don’t want to. Or they really want to stay tangled, but the other individual wants to get free. Or it’s a gender issue and society still isn’t certain, and they aren’t certain, where they stand on it.

In every case, it’s a push-pull, seesaw kind of situation between two and sometimes three and maybe four or five people. It can be a romantic entanglement, a job, a family, any kind of relationship that's causing pain.

Because they come to me from all over the world through my blog posts, these readers have searched something like "past life friend" and found me. That means they've already begun to recognize that previous lifetimes might underlie their connections to one another. Half the battle is won!

Thankfully my Cosmic CoAuthors often step in to help me reply, even when my small self says, “WTF? How could I possibly help this person out of this mess? I have no clue!”

My CoAuthors are so wise, compassionate, loving, and sometimes stern. If they blast Healing Power in the individual’s direction,  it invariably shakes loose something that was stuck.

I’m very grateful to my readers for sharing pieces of their lives with me, because we are all learning from one another. Over time I've begun to see patterns and learn, for my own benefit, some of the ways we humans manage to complicate our lives.

First, you need to understand how you got stuck in the unhappy relationship.

Knowing someone from before, in a previous life, is only part of the equation. That will bring you back to one another, based on the energy principle of frequency relationship.

Then hopefully the two of you—whether you are lovers, friends, boss and employee, parent and child, or siblings—will naturally make evolutionary progress together. You’ll grow and change and become better individually and together. If things go really well, you might form a constructive “polarity relationship,” a balanced connection that will serve you far into future lifetimes as a source of strength when you meet up again. That’s the kind of relationship in which there’s balanced give-and-take, mutual respect, and shared goals, the three golden measures of a successful relationship.

Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in the unhappy place, the one that no longer works in the present lifetime, if it ever did.

We can’t change the past, but we can change ourselves in the present, which—voila—changes our relativity to the unhappy relationship. From there, either the relationship improves or we move on to better things, easily and naturally.

Here’s how we get stuck—and how to get unstuck:

1. Feeling Unworthy. This must be the ultimate breakdown in self-management. We have somewhere been convinced that we don’t deserve any better. So we tolerate. We suffer. We endure. We set aside. We settle. And everyone suffers with us, feeling our misery every time our energies intersect with the world around us. But some part of the inner Spirit is crying out. And that’s when we find our Cosmic CoAuthors. Antidote: Feeling Worthy.

2. Feeling Afraid. Fear of change, fear of being alone, fear of loss, fear. Just plain fear. That’s what keeps us trapped in painful situations. Or we are unable to stop thinking about the lover we wouldn’t take, the one left behind who has now moved on to someone else, or simply left the planet because their time here was over. Fear to act, fear to compromise. I’ve heard so much fear from the people who write to me. We might be fearless and strong in other ways, but the key is actually feeling fearless in social situations. Antidote: Feeling Courageous.

3. Feeling Distrust. It’s not that we distrust the other person. We distrust ourselves! Almost every person stuck in an unhappy relationship knows it, yet distrusts that knowing. They even know the solution they must undertake. It comes right out in the words they write to me. Their own Higher Selves are screaming the answers to them inside, but they don’t trust that it’s the “right” thing to do. All they need is someone like me and my Cosmic polarities to say, “Yes. You are right. You are strong. Trust yourself! You can do this! You already know the right answer. Moreover, you’re the only one who can make this choice.” Antidote: Feeling Trust.

4. Feeling Disconnected. The people who write me to have lost their connection (only for the moment, I hope) to their own Cosmic CoAuthors, because we all have them, those Higher Resources who whisper inside and comfort and guide, yet never interfere in our opportunities to learn by doing. My questers have forgotten to ask within themselves. So they have reached out through the Internet—which is a fine first step, and a wise one. Because at least they are reaching, even if they don’t realize that what they are missing is an inner connection to Those who are dedicated to serving humanity with wisdom and Love, whether you think of them as Angels or Guides or Avatars or Celestial Intelligences. Most do find this link again, once they have digested what’s given to them via my connection. A surprising number write back, completely changed! Then they ask inspired questions, furthering their education and mine by re-activating my own cosmic link. Antidote: Feeling Connected.

“It is your obligation to the rest of the world to find the best, most constructive, healthiest, and happiest way to live on this planet. In that way, you are adding to the beauty of this world, enhancing the very best of it with your personal energy. You are also setting free anyone who might also feel trapped, and thereby helping them to achieve their best life. Trying to remain bonded to the past, an old memory of who and what you were, is not going to help either of you. If you cannot find compatibility in your present life, in the current reality, that means you have both outgrown your need to remain together. Set yourselves free! But if you do truly love who you both are now, and it’s mutual, and you have respect for one another and balanced give and take, with shared goals, then stay right where you are.”

5. Feeling Happy!