Knowing someone from a prior lifetime is no reason to stay in an unhappy past life relationship. Here are five ways to fix it, or finish it!

I often write “Dear Abby” type replies to people who comment on my most popular article on the Internet who have found themselves stuck in relationships that are making them unhappy. My article is about identifying past life lovers, friends, and enemies. Thankfully, that in and of itself begins to answer the question. They have come together to rectify some past life issues that have left them feeling unbalanced. But it’s never quite that simple.

In fact, in many cases the “coming together” wasn’t a decision they made; it was mandated by the flow of energy in our universe, which follows certain principles of attraction and repulsion and harmonic regeneration. They had no choice; they would inevitably find one another to resolve what they’d left so very complicated.

Whatever they have been to one another in prior lives, in whichever gender they were living, they are now bonded in what seems to them unshakeable or unmanageable or intolerable situations. And they are tangled! You wouldn’t believe (unless you read the long thread of questions and answers) the variety of situations human beings can get themselves twisted into. And they can’t get free. Or they want to get free, but they don’t want to. Or they really want to stay tangled, but the other individual wants to get free. Or it’s a gender issue and society still isn’t certain, and they aren’t certain, where they stand on it.

In every case, it’s a push-pull, seesaw kind of situation between two and sometimes three and maybe four or five people.

Because they come to me from all over the world through this particular article, they have already begun to recognize that previous lives underlie their connections to one another and they’ve searched something like “past life friend.” Half the battle is won!

And in every case, thankfully my Cosmic CoAuthors step in to help me reply, even when my small self says, “WTF? How could I possibly help this person out of this mess? I have no clue!”

My CoAuthors are so wise, compassionate, loving, sometimes stern, and sometimes blasting Healing Power in the individual’s direction, it invariably shakes loose something that was stuck. But over time, I am beginning to see patterns and learn, for my own benefit, some of how we humans manage to complicate our lives. I’m very grateful to my Internet questers for sharing their lives with me, and my readers, because we are all learning from one another. First, they need to understand how they got stuck in the unhappy relationship.

Knowing someone from before, in a previous life, is only part of the equation. That will bring you back to one another, based on the energy principle of frequency relationship. Then hopefully the two of you—whether you are lovers, friends, boss and employee, parent and child, or siblings—will make progress together. You’ll grow and change and become better individually and together. If things go really well, you’ll be forming a constructive “polarity relationship,” which will serve you far into the future as a source of strength. That’s the kind of relationship in which there’s balanced give-and-take, mutual respect, and shared goals. It takes lifetimes to build one.

Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in the unhappy place, the one that no longer works in the present lifetime, if it ever did. We can’t change the past, but we can change ourselves in the present, which—voila—changes our relativity to the unhappy relationship. From there, either the relationship improves or we move on to better things, easily and naturally.

Here’s how we get stuck—and how to get unstuck:

  1. Feeling Unworthy. This must be the ultimate breakdown in self-management. We have somewhere been convinced that we don’t deserve any better. So we tolerate. We suffer. We endure. We set aside. We settle. And everyone suffers with us, feeling our misery every time our energies intersect with the world around us. But some part of the inner Spirit is crying out. And that’s when we find our Cosmic CoAuthors. Antidote: Feeling Worthy.
  1. Feeling Afraid. Fear of change, fear of being alone, fear of loss, fear. Just plain fear. That’s what keeps us trapped in painful situations. Or we are unable to stop thinking about the lover we wouldn’t take, the one left behind who has now moved on to someone else, or simply left the planet because their time here was over. Fear to act, fear to compromise. I’ve heard so much fear from the people who write to me. We might be fearless and strong in other ways, but the key is actually feeling fearless in social situations. Antidote: Feeling Courageous.
  1. Feeling Distrust. It’s not that we distrust the other person. We distrust ourselves! Almost every person stuck in an unhappy relationship knows it, yet distrusts that knowing. They even know the solution they must undertake. It comes right out in the words they write to me. Their own Higher Selves are screaming the answers to them inside, but they don’t trust that it’s the “right” thing to do. All they need is someone like me and my Cosmic polarities to say, “Yes. You are right. You are strong. Trust yourself! You can do this! You already know the right answer. Moreover, you’re the only one who can make this choice.” Antidote: Feeling Trust.
  1. Feeling Disconnected. The people who write me to have lost their connection (only for the moment, I hope) to their own Cosmic CoAuthors, because we all have them, those Higher Resources who whisper inside and comfort and guide, yet never interfere in our opportunities to learn by doing. My questers have forgotten to ask within themselves. So they have reached out through the Internet—which is a fine first step, and a wise one. Because at least they are reaching, even if they don’t realize that what they are missing is an inner connection to Those who are dedicated to serving humanity with wisdom and Love, whether you think of them as Angels or Guides or Avatars or Celestial Intelligences. Most do find this link again, once they have digested what’s given to them via my connections. A surprising number write back, completely changed! Then they ask inspired questions, furthering their education and mine by re-activating my own cosmic link. Antidote: Feeling Connected.

Today, for instance, one of my questers led my CoAuthors to give us both this piece of wisdom, which my husband vows to repeat often to me. So I’m going to save him the trouble and post in here in my blog where we can all access it. They said, and I quote:

“It is your obligation to the rest of the world to find the best, most constructive, healthiest, and happiest way to live on this planet. In that way, you are adding to the beauty of this world, enhancing the very best of it with your personal energy. You are also setting free anyone who might also feel trapped, and thereby helping them to achieve their best life. Trying to remain bonded to the past, an old memory of who and what you were, is not going to help either of you. If you cannot find compatibility in your present life, in the current reality, that means you have both outgrown your need to remain together. Set yourselves free! But if you do truly love who you both are now, and it’s mutual, and you have respect for one another and balanced give and take, with shared goals, then stay right where you are.”

  1. Feeling Happy!

Who knew? This is the secret to never, ever feeling alone! Because when you are happy, you’re like a welcome light to anyone you meet. You’ll be attracting new friends by your energy radiations of joy!

Why do couples stay in their miserable states, afraid to break free? Because they are feeling so miserable! A terrible state of affairs, this Catch-22. While they are miserable, no one wants to be around them. They’re afraid if they break up, they’ll be alone forever. But if they find what brings them joy, individually, they’ll either suddenly make each other so much happier, or they will move off into a life that supports their continued happiness, and EVERYONE in the world will benefit – friends, lovers, spouses, parents, children, coworkers, bosses, and the barista in the coffee shop. Total strangers will feel drawn to them. Life will regenerate their joy.

The same goes for those who are feeling miserable because they are alone. Find joy inside, and soon others will want to share it with you.

All we need is the courage to create and live a life of fulfillment, happiness, and inner contentment. We must do, and be, and live with, and spread what makes our spirits sing. That’s different for each of us, and we might have to dispense with some old, past life associates who don’t want to follow us along this new path.

It’s painful to separate from the past, granted. But the pain is brief, and the enduring richness and opportunity and discovery and fascination and growth are well worth it. We not only help ourselves, we help the people we have been holding in the pattern with us!

I have made such choices many times in my own life—and I completely endorse this statement that my Cosmic CoAuthors inspired me to write. It has certainly been true for me.

What about you? I welcome your comments, experiences, and thoughts in the thread below. And please share my article if you found it useful or enlightening.