Close your eyes and listen. Are you one of the fortunate few who hear only a peaceful silence? Or are you like most of us, constantly surrounded by the cacophony that is life in the 21st century? So we seek for silent places in the world when we can: the dark woods, out on the ocean, lost in a tomb-like room we might have created in our homes for “retreat.” You think by now I’m going to say that Joseph and I ventured off to a silent retreat, right? But the annual Subtle Energy Retreat held at Blue Sky Ranch in the San Diego foothills is anything but silent.

Ideas and conversations and presentations and excitement and exotic musical tones echo and reverberate for three days. It is a cacophony of the loveliest kind, where thoughts merge and hearts expand and ideas get born and refined. Motion and light converge with the ever reverberating movements of sun and dust and wind and stars and a full moon—and let’s never forget Ivan the Raven circling overhead, watching and guarding the presentation tent and the lunch patio.

Even the caterpillar who discovered the warmth of Joseph’s dusty foot and traced two long, slow paths all the way up his left leg and back down, up and back again, before exploring Joseph’s abandoned shoe and trying it on as a cozy place to weave his cocoon, made his own kind of “noisy” distraction during Darity Wesley’s excellent presentation about how to be authentically you in all life situations. He seemed to be underlining her message.

I am Caterpillar!

I am Caterpillar!

“Here I am! Caterpillar and proud to be! I am simply exploring life and making my way, finding new terrain exciting and motivating and worthy of my full attention! I am seeking a place to make my transformation, a comfortable, protected, and yet unknown environment where my ‘imaginal cells’ can take me over and change me into a far more sophisticated Being.”

Yes, even Caterpillar echoed the verbal messages of the weekend, adding to the pervasive sounds of awakening.

Until Sunday morning.

Touching the Sounds of Silence

The morning before, we’d given our own presentation, chattering away about our company Jolibro’s research into previously unknown interactions between human biofields and man-made magnetic fields and tiny crystal emanations of Nature. By Sunday, Joseph and I were moving slowly as we prepared to leave home again for the foothills and Day 3. Yet we were eager to experience the “Energetic Ecstasy” of a sound healing duet of “resonant gongs” and “exquisite crystal bowls,” and we vaguely knew that the presenter before would weave her own loving presence into that concert with a beautiful message about the Divine Matrix.

A trick of mind (I now believe) gave us comfort in the thought that this glorious collaboration would still be unfolding when we arrived later than we’d planned. We climbed quickly out of the dusty Honda onto the mesa above the presentation tent, expecting to hear the reverberations echoing up from the gully below … and felt the palpable presence of total silence.

It struck us both simultaneously, full in the face and body, this field of complete silence. We instantly dropped to whispers as we gathered our dust-covered shoes and bottles and bags. A force field of reverent Silence enveloped us completely, so tangible that if you chose, you could reach out a hand and pass it through, swirling the cloud-like energy circling up from the tent situated a long walk down a dusty road from where we stood. We tip-toed down the water ravaged hill and found that, yes, 70-some people still remained on the Ranch, seated in their chairs, a few beginning to move slowly about but most, eyes closed, basking. We stopped, confused by this rare scene.

They must be meditating, we realized. But no group meditation I’d ever witnessed had caused me to experience such a swelling out and expanding energy field as the one we’d driven into. Where was the edge of that field? When we opened the car door, we were already in it. Did it go as far as the road we’d driven in on? Did it reach the freeways racing through the valleys beyond? Out to the Universe, surely, traveled this magical, powerful, human-created field of Palpable Silence generated by the words of Kimberly Braun and the music of Dr. Maria Theresa Larsen (bowls) and Teri Wilder (gongs).

We’d been so sad to miss their audible presentations, already ended by the time we arrived. But now I feel honored, and understand that we were unwitting servants of  Jolibro’s tag-line: Human Energy Research. We became honorary energy scouts, reporting back to the group that, yes, thoughts and beliefs can generate a powerful field that travels and expands and reaches unknown hearts and minds and universes, moving them as it does so. I’d even come across a technical term for being moved by an energy field the week before: magnetotaxis.

“Yes! Beautiful!” as our favorite dance teacher exclaims when we’ve conquered disharmony to move at last in unison.

But more! After a whispered explanation from dear friend Frankie, we joined the few who decided to take their Silence with them to walk the Ranch’s labyrinth. I tried desperately to maintain decorum and silence but failed, of course. The labyrinth always unlocks and unfurls the joy I’ve tamped down under weeks of stress and necessity. I managed to suppress audible giggling this time, but not the smiles and spins and maybe a little skipping. Happiness could not be denied, with the Love-Silence and the Labyrinth conspiring against me.

Still, the subtle energy stirred up by this retreat had another surprise for me.

Unfurling My Subtle Energy

When I climbed back up with the others to the lunch tent, I tried to speak to Cristina Smith, organizer of this multidimensional event. I found myself bubbling over suddenly with floods of tearful emotion. What?? I don’t cry in public! Well, not if I can help it. I am not that kind of blubbery person, generally. And then, every time I mentioned it to someone, as in “I can’t believe that happened,” it would happen again. Not only joy but tearful joy unfurled within me.

Or was it that Moonlight Collector? We’d experienced it late in the wind-chilled night before. Was this the result of absorbing concentrated moonlight that bored deep into my eyes and heart? Did that unleash some unknown control I’d kept over my emotional self? Or was it the light of Sirius dancing over the convex mirrors of the mini-collector we were fortunate to enjoy before the moon rose magnificently over the mountain behind us? Moonlight Magistrates Monica and Richard Chapin, inventors of this device, graciously granted us both. We were the last viewers to experience Sirius before it set and the first to taste the full moon as it rose. Next morning, I could not keep my emotional upwellings hidden.

Hmmm … what did I see in that Collector? Dancing blue sparkles from Sirius as it set on the horizon. Then the moon gave me the image of a smiling man with a little beard. “Oh!” I thought, “Of course! The man in the moon!” and smiled with him. But the moonlight also formed two hearts in the center of the Collector, and they stayed with me for the duration.

Silly me. How did I not remember the next morning that the Moon and the Star and the Silence and the Labyrinth were working in harmony to expose the real me, the one who feels deeply and profoundly. Not to mention the influence of zooming into the outer and inner zones during artist Jonathan Quintin’s trippy presentation of Sacred Geometric Cosmology.

I have now publicly proclaimed my career as a Jolibro subtle energy researcher, so one more unveiling remained for me.

Moon Lightning

I’m grateful to have shared this last experience with four special people who sat in the cold with us, waiting our turns for the Collector. It remains in the category of mystery to be solved, which every subtle energy researcher loves.

We sat with our backs to a wall, huddled under shared blankets, looking out at the steep ridges and up at the bright stars. Far away and beyond, we could see twinklings of the communities below, and if it had been daylight, I suspect we might have spotted the ocean. But it was night and the moon had not yet crept up over the top of El Capitan behind us. So we stared out at the ridge line ahead and told stories of our psychic adventures.

Sunset at Blue Sky Ranch

Blue Sky Ranch foothills absorbing the last rays of sunlight

Suddenly, a beam of light shot up from the ridge and out into the star-field. Then a host of them appeared, going off like dim bottle rockets, soaring upward, one after another, all along the ridge. I blurted, “Did you see that?” And one by one, they all saw it.

As it happens, the five of us use energy-sensing ranges that go beyond the typical, so I added, “Is that psychic Light we’re seeing, or physical light?” We weren’t sure. But the beam columns were straight and tall, yet faint like aura light, or a searchlight seen from a distance. Only they rose straight up from the mountain into the sky, appearing, then disappearing, lighting up in turn like keys struck on a giant cosmic piano.

Was the mountain returning to the Infinite some of the energy it had absorbed from the sun during the day? Polarity. A principle of energy flow I often write about, how the surplus charge flows to the deficit, fills it, and then the flow reverses. Were we witnessing the side of the sunlight polarity we rarely see or notice?

I remembered that lightning travels up from the ground, not down from the clouds. Until I am more enlightened about this visible energy phenomenon, I will always think of it as Moon Lightning, shared with dear friends Lori, Kathy, Robin White Turtle, and Joseph. The display continued for as long as we sat there, until we were each taken over by the fascinations of the Collector.

And then a very bright beam shot up and we all saw it at the same time. Validation of each other’s vision. The mountains giving their own gifts back to the Universe in silence. Perhaps a fitting preface to the gifts generated by the group’s Silence the next morning.

All weekend long, we Subtle Energy Retreat participants each absorbed our own kind of Sunlight. May we all succeed in our attempts to shoot Moon Lightning beams of that energy back out into the Infinite, regenerated, multiplied, touching hearts and minds all along their energetic and infinite pathways into the Stars, to Sirius and beyond!

I am so grateful to all the Forces conspiring to create my profound weekend. Thank you.